25 Days of Christmas!

Today was Esme's First Christmas! She had such a good time! She let us sleep in, Jacob and I took turns opening gifts, and Esme even tore some of her own paper. To commemorate her 1st Christmas we did "The 25 Days of Christmas"- a different Christmas themed picture everyday for the month of December. Here they are!

Digital slideshow generated with Smilebox

How's it Going?: Breastfeeding

As of 12/13/2011, Esme has had 2 oz of formula and I don't know how many ounces of breast milk in her entire life. Those 2 oz came sometime in September, after Jacob went back to work and I was absolutely losing my mind. I made the bottle, but couldn't bring myself to give it to her. So instead we sat in the nursery, crying together until about 10 minutes later Jacob came home from work. He fed her the bottle while I cried (okay, sobbed) in the other room full of Mommy Guilt. In retrospect, those tears were completely unnecessary; I was following the number one rule- feed the baby, just in a way that I didn't want to. Since then, Esme has not had another ounce of formula despite tons of obstacles. Nursing has definitely been 100 times harder than I expected, but what keeps me going is that it is 100 times more rewarding than I ever anticipated.

Obstacle #1- Thrush: I was so "lucky" to have thrush right out of the gate. Around day 2 in the hospital my nipples started to sting and burn, bad. It felt like someone was rubbing sand paper on them, or grating them with a lemon zester, or cutting them with tiny pieces of glass... Whatever description works best, they effing hurt. For about a week I would sob during nursings, and not due to baby blues. It was because it freaking hurt and the pain didn't go away after sessions either. No, it stayed and unless I was au naturale, they stung. My toes curled, my teeth clenched, I thought, "no way I can do this". Thank goodness for WIC, because they were able to tell me I had thrush. Two days of a home-made 3 part cream later, and life was good. Heck, I even enjoyed it!

Obstacle #2- Low Supply: I don't know what caused it, maybe I shouldn't have sent Esme to the nursery those two nights I was in the hospital, maybe I should've done more skin to skin, maybe I should've had her on my chest immediately after birth (those pesky NICU team, checking to make sure my baby was healthy), but my supply was low. In a 40 minute nursing session at about 5 weeks, Esme only got about 1.75 ounces, not completely horrendous, but not good. I tried everything to get it up. Fenugreek, lactation cookies, mother's milk tea, blessed thistle, oatmeal 'till I gagged, nothing seemed to help. Until I got Domperidone. I take 90 mg a day and I am finally nursing normal hours, with a baby that seems content between mealtimes. I will add though, days when I stress or don't get enough water my supply tanks. Who knows? Maybe the Domperidone is a placebo, it gets me to stress less about my supply and therefore it increases.

Obstacle #3- Cluster Feeding: Related to #2, perhaps. Esme is a marathon nurse-er. Especially in the evenings she likes to nurse every hour. When she was first born, she liked to nurse constantly for comfort. It drove me bananas. Sometimes I just wanted to chop off my boobs, hand them to Jacob and say, "you try for a minute". Luckily, the constant nursing has stopped, but she still clusters in the evenings. Better than her screaming, though!

Obstacle #4- Gall Bladder Removal: At exactly 3 weeks postpartum, I had to have my gall bladder removed. It is a rather simple surgery. I think I was "out" for an hour or so, but I was in a lot of pain afterward, especially in my shoulders. I pumped just enough for Esme to have while I was in surgery and afterward when I was in too much pain to nurse. I stupidly, dumped the 5.5 oz I pumped after my surgery because I was told it would have some of the anesthesia in it. I was told later that that was completely unnecessary- once I woke up the drugs were out of my system and therefore out of my breast milk. Goodbye 5.5 oz of liquid gold.

Obstacle #5- Peppermint: To anyone who doubts the "Old Wive's Tale" that peppermint is bad for your supply- don't! I got into a bag of candy cane kisses (yum) which contained peppermint oil... Bad idea! Esme was ticked! After all the work I did to get my supply to a reasonable amount, I tanked it. Jacob had to give her bottles while I pumped because there was basically nothing coming out. Thankfully, after a 2 day long nursing and pumping marathon, things seem to be back to "normal".


So, now Esme is 3.5 months old. Nursing is going great, except she is now starting to become more distracted. She pops her head off a lot while at the breast (um, oww), but still wants more milk. Its a struggle we are trying to work through. What I keep telling myself is that the issues I am having with breast feeding are temporary, but the benefits we get from sticking it are permanent.

Esme is 3 Months Old!

I have said it before, I will say it again: I am completely in love with my daughter. Her gummy smile and bright eyes make my day, every day. Time is flying and everyone told me it would once I was a mommy, but really? Can't it just slow down a little.  My little bean is growing so fast, she is rolling on both sides now, grabbing things, almost sitting up... She is practically all grown up! My facebook friends may hate me for this, but I try to get a picture of her every day. I don't want to forget a single detail about any moment in her life. Right now, I am doing the "25 Days of Christmas"... a different Christmas themed picture every day in the month of December. More on that later.

Speaking of Christmas, I am so excited for our first Christmas with Esme! We already have our tree up (as always, day after Thanksgiving) and we purchased Esme a "Baby's First Christmas" ornament. That is a tradition I am so happy to continue with Esme: a new special ornament every year. My tree is decked out with sentimental ornaments because no matter what, my mom always got me one. We have so much to do for Esme, christmas cookies, painting ornaments, homemade pizza on Christmas Eve, setting up the nativity. She won't remember it, but at least we'll be able to tell her, "we did this every year, even when you were a baby".

I am a little bummed I don't update my blog more often. There is so much I want to remember, yet I don't want to take time away from Bean to write it all down. Hopefully the next 3 months (and beyond) I will be better! Right now, Esme is napping and I have some gifts to finish up!

Where Have I Been?

I have just been soaking up every second with my little Ezzie Bean that my blog that I solemnly swore to update regularly is full of cobwebs and dust! So much has happened that I haven't wrote about- her sweet smile, her duck cries, rolling over, laughing, hand nomming, and of course the sweet conversations we have every morning! She is still a little diva- she loves being held and walking around. She especially LOVES shopping- she can't get enough! I feel like when I pick something out I should be asking her opinion because she is so interested. Also, our little bean is a strong one! I honestly don't remember a time she didn't hold her head up or support her weight on her little chicken legs. Now she is rolling over, lifting her head at a 90 degree angle, and almost sitting up on her own! I can't get over how proud I am of her. Whenever she reaches a milestone I get a huge surge of pride- thats my baby! Seriously- how awesome is she?!

The holidays are approaching and although Esme won't even be 4 months old, I can't help but  buy her gifts. I mean, "Santa" can't help it! I've already (unfortunately?) done the vast majority of my holiday shopping and wrapping, and although I am sad I am almost done shopping, my tree looks awesome! Jacob and I will be going to Oklahoma City for New Years and we are excited to get there! Not so excited for the 14 hour (witha baby) drive there and back! We had a nice little Thanksgiving here with Tessa, Amy, and my Mom. All the fixings plus 5 (yes, count 'em- 5) desserts!

So how is my diet doing? Oh clearly fantastic. NOT! Everyday I tell myself, "I am giving up sweets!" and everyday I feast on some sugary substance, its awful! I blame the breastfeeding. I mean, I've always had a sweet tooth, but my cravings are worse now than ever- including pregnancy. Note to self: talk to LLL leader and my Lactation Consultant.

Now I am off to bed and snuggle with my sweet baby for a few minutes. We have a long drive to Evansville and back to take Tessa home. Very sad, it was a nice visit and we wish she could live closer. Maybe one day...

How's it Going? : Cloth Diapering

One of the most common questions I get asked is how cloth diapering is going. The answer: fantastic. I always laugh at how ridiculous it is that my baby booty covering method is becoming a hobby of sorts. If you were to ask me what I wanted for my birthday or Christmas my list mainly consists of Bummi's Whisper Wraps, Thirsties Duo Wraps, some more pre-folds, Sunbaby prints, Rockin' Green Detergent, and maybe some hemp inserts. It is a fun way to style a little baby, and heck, you need to cover their booty anyway!

As I said before, our stash is majority Sunbaby Diapers. We love these. They are so cute that when Esme is wearing a dress we don't bother putting the diaper cover on- we want to show off our diapers! At first a diaper change took a little more time than your average disposable diaper change, which makes sense with six snaps to deal with. However, we got use to it pretty quickly and on the rare occasion we put Esme in a disposable (like when we were out of town the other day) we fumble with those. The Sunbabys are pocket diapers, or All-in-Two diapers. They have the main part of the diaper, which looks just like an extra cute disposable with snaps on the outside. On the inside there is a pocket for an insert. The insert looks like a big fleece Maxi-Pad. At first, we were worried about leaks. Sometimes when nursing in bed I would find a piddle puddle under Esme. I worried that it was the inserts, but really the leg gussets were just to big and our widdle itty bitty baby had to bulk up a little. We haven't had that problem in a while now that the legs actually fit her. I will say that there is one major issue with these diapers: they say they fit 7-35 lbs on their website, but that isn't universally true. While visiting Evansville I wanted to experiment with my Sunbabys and put one on our 26 lb nephew, Noah. We could not get the diaper on him. He does have rather chubby thighs, which I have heard is the downfall with these diapers: If you have a chubby legged child they won't fit up until 35 pounds. Hopefully Esme won't take after Noah. If she does, though, we've discovered that prefolds aren't so bad and will invest in those (a dozen is less than $20 at a store in Evansville).

Jacob is still terrified of the prefolds. In fact, we can usually tell who changed her last in the evening depending on what diaper is on Esme's booty. I love the prefolds and have two Thirsties Duo wraps and two Snappis to go with them. My friend bought me a lot of six Bummi's newborn prefolds and we have never (not once) had a leakage issue. Prefolds are the old fashioned diapers that you have to fold and use a separate closure technique. Back in the day they used safety pins, but we have Snappis! They are really easy to use- they just sort of hook on the diaper on one side with these little plastic teeth, then you stretch it to the other side, hook, then stretch down and hook again. Describing the action takes way longer than actually doing it, but it is an extra step that we don't have with the Sunbabys. Also is the added step of using the cover. The Thirsties wraps have velcro enclosures and are just as easy to use as a disposable, but again its another step. I have been using the Jelly-Roll, which takes a little extra coordination when she is wriggly, but I have become almost a pro (I am trying to maintain my amateur status for the Olympics, though).

As far as being inconvenienced by cloth diapers goes- there isn't much. Yes, I wash my diapers everyday, but I have enough to go two  days between washes, I just prefer the routine of a daily wash. When we are out and about we use a wet bag, by Munchkin that has a water proof liner easily wiped with a baby wipe and I wash every couple of trips. At home, dirty diapers go in a plastic trash can with a lid (no bag) and we haven't  had any issues with smell. We line dry the pocket shells in the nursery, and I usually stuff them in the evening when Jacob is getting his play time in with Esme. The insert stuffing, I believe is the most inconvenient part of cloth diapering. At first it took me about an hour to stuff 24 diapers. I am able to do a dozen in about 15 minutes now. I know some people just stuff as they go, but that means extra time with a bare butt baby or extra time in a wet diaper, both irritating to a little baby.

At the end of the day, I am still thrilled we chose to cloth diaper. I feel it is more convenient than disposables, and obviously a lot cheaper. Our electric bill hasn't gone up significantly (if at all) and I am still only halfway through that first batch of detergent. Also, we have never had a diaper rash or anything close, except for the one day we were out of town and used disposables she got a little red (but could have been due to the heat). One last thing- it is a lot easier to cloth diaper a breast fed baby. The poopies stink less and since it is water soluble there is no need to rinse the poop before throwing them in the washer. Formula poop stinks and it will really mess up your washer if you don't rinse the diaper before throwing it in.

Have a good day whoever is reading this!

Things we Learned about Esme in her First Four Weeks

• She loves hats
• Hats calm her down. In the hospital the nurses called her "the little diva," because she'd scream until we put her little beanie on. Doesn't bother me-they're so cute! 
• She loves to be swinged (swung?)
• When we were still in the hospital the nurse took Esme to the nursery so I could get a couple hours of sleep. I missed her and went to go see her. When I got there I could see her across the room in a swing, with a "smile" on her face. No, it may not have been a smile in the conventional sense, but she looked so content. Also, when we put her in her car seat she screams bloody murder until we swing her in it.
• Beans and Fenugreek make her gassy
• Biiiiiiig mistake eating Botana. And then once I stopped Fenugreek supplements her gassiness has gone down.
• She likes sitting up like a big girl and being bounced
• She isn't a very fussy baby, except in the evening. When she gets fussy she will instantly stop if you sit her up. After a couple minutes she may start fussing again, but a couple gentle bounces and she is a happy camper again.
• She hates pacifiers, loves our fingers
• We waited and waited to give her her first pacifier (due to breastfeeding nipple confusion fears) and even then I did my research on the best paci to give her. She hates the thing. On the rare occasion she takes it, it is out withing 5 minutes. However, she will suck on our pinkies until the cows come home. In a couple weeks we are going to introduce her to a different type of pacifier and hoping she enjoys that kind.
• Toes to nose and she farts like an old man
• Sometimes she needs a little help getting those farts out. Toes to nose and we start looking around to see who stepped on that giant frog.
• She is a night owl
• Probably due to the influence of her parents, but she is up until 1 or 2 am before her "big stretch" of sleep. 
• She likes to snuggle
• She cannot stand being set down. I don't want to "spoil" her and I don't think she can be spoiled this early, but its hard to get much done. She will be in a deep sleep (or so we think), we set her down, and 2 minutes later she is screaming bloody murder. Once she is held again she is happy.
• She hates being swaddled
  
• This is the advice we get all the time for the previously mentioned problem, but she hates it! She liked it until she was about 1 week old, but since then its a lost cause.

Esme's Birth Story

Four weeks ago today, from this moment, I was recovering from one of the most hellish, yet amazing ordeals of my life. The day my daughter was born was the most beautiful day of my life and I never want to forget it- so here is Esme's birth story. It is absolutely uncensored and this is not a private blog. So beware if you are weak at the sight or sound of bloody shows, rings of fire, placentas, and meconium in amniotic fluid.

The weekend before Esme was born I started to have some period like cramping. It was very mild and un-timeable, so I knew if it was "labor" I had a while to go. I called my midwife, Anne was on call that day, for advice. She said it sounded like early labor, which could last hours or could last weeks. She said to walk walk walk to get things moving. And I did. I recruited Amy and we walked around the mall for a couple hours. Then when Jacob got home from work we walked some more. I was so exhausted on Sunday that I didn't do very much walking that day- except again when Jacob came home from work. There was no change and Monday morning that light crampy feeling went away. I felt defeated, and like my baby was going to stay camped inside for weeks to come. That day, the 29th was the day I predicted for Esme to make her appearance, but it didn't look like it was going to happen. Early evening/late afternoon (prevening as Sheldon Cooper calls it) I walked to the Marathon to get a fountain Diet Pepsi. In the store I had a contraction, followed by the light crampy feeling, and then on the way home another contraction. I went on my scavenger hunt (as mentioned in an earlier entry) to keep my walk nice and long. I came home, kicked back (due to exhaustion- I was 9 months pregnant!), made some hamburger helper, watched Kate Plus Eight, and took a shower. In the shower I realized that I hadn't felt Esme move all day except for some hiccups after dinner. So I laid down, drank some water, and waited for some kicks.

Jacob  got home from work and I was still waiting for kicks in the bed. I was getting very worried at this point. At 1 am I called my midwife again. This time Sharon answered and told me to calm down, drink as much ice water as I could, and lay back and try again. If there were no changes in an hour to call her. During this time Jacob kept reassuring me. He told me that Esme was just resting up and was probably coming out very soon. I laughed at this because I had completely written off labor for at least a couple weeks. At 2 am there were still no changes so I called Sharon and she told us to come in for monitoring for my own peace of mind.

We got to the hospital and I felt so silly checking in. I obviously wasn't in labor, and I felt like everyone was rolling their eyes at me. They really weren't- the nurses were so kind and did nothing but reassure me. It was my own paranoia that they were side-eyeing me. As soon as the nurse hooked up the monitor we heard Esme's heart beat. And about 5 seconds later she kicked the monitor. I, once again, felt silly. But sooo relieved. Esme's heart beat was strong and she had 2 accelerations in 7 minutes (2 in 20 is passing). One thing that majorly disappointed me, though, was my uterine activity was flat. I was having zero contractions and that machine can pick up the tiniest contraction that my body can't even detect. We were discharged pretty quickly and on the way home I was even more upset. I thought I was at least having minor contractions, but apparently not. Jacob joked that I could be pregnant until September 14th and I felt like sobbing at that thought.

We got to bed around 4:30 am. At 6 am I woke up with "diahreah". It was pretty painful (and gross) and I figured it was the Hamburger Helper. After being all "cleared out" I was still having the "diahreah pain" and around 6:45 I realized the pain was coming and going. At 7 am I woke Jacob up and told him I thought I was in labor. He asked me to describe the pain... It felt like diahreah, and period cramps. That was the best way for me to describe it. Then we started to time the pain's comings and goings. They lasted about 25 seconds and were 3-5 minutes apart. Jacob said it was probably false labor because contractions should last longer and they start out farther apart. We decided to wait until 8:30 to see if the pain went away. If not we'd call the midwife again- something I really didn't want to do after my paranoia episode the night before. In the meantime Jacob was rubbing my back and telling me to use the toilet. I called my mom at that point. I figure she'd be leaving for work and just in case I wanted her to have her stuff in her car so she wouldn't have to back track. All the time the pain was getting worse. My mom told me on the phone to call my midwife. After one particularly painful contraction I did and the midwife said it sounded like I was in labor. She said to try and get through  as much at home as I could, distract myself, take a shower, and when it got bad to come into the office for a labor check.

I followed my midwife's directions. Jacob and I got in the shower. It helped immensely, but I could feel the contractions getting even worse. I got out and tried distracting myself with dishes. I did one dish and decided to go in. Jacob packed all the last minute stuff while I was pacing the kitchen, focusing on my breathing. In the car, we came to North Street that is randomly cobblestone and you either scrape the crap out of the bottom of your car or have to spend 5 minutes going across it. Jacob asked me what I preferred and I told him to hit it. We got to the office and I went to the bathroom. I was in my pjs, with hairy legs and no bra and making funny noises due to contractions. No one was there yet, but just in case someone showed up I didn't want to be seen. We were called back and Anne checked me. She said I was 5 cm and to get to the hospital- I was in labor! I knew I probably was before, but it being confirmed by my midwife was overwhelming. I started to sob. I was so scared, I thought I was going to die in labor and I didn't think I was ready. But ready or not Esme was coming.

We got to my delivery room and they were filling our tub. My nurse, Sarah, introduced herself, told me to change into my gown, and said I would have to be on the bed for 20 minutes for monitoring before I could get into the tub. When I changed into my gown in the bathroom there was blood all in my undies. Disgusting! I cried and Sarah came running and assured me it was totally normal. I was hooked up to the monitor and saw my contractions on the screen- a big difference from the night before! 20 minutes passed and during that time my contractions got a lot worse and I began shaking. Sarah said she was going to check me because a lot of women start shaking around the transitional phase. She checked and I was 6.5cm, but stretched to an 8 because my water still hadn't broken. She said she was going to call Anne and tell her to hurry because I was going quickly. I told Sarah that I would need Zofran and I'd rather not wait till I was barfing to get it, it wasn't a question of "if" I would puke, it was "when". Thank goodness she obliged with the max dose! Sarah let me get in the tub and it was magical! It helped so much with the pain I couldn't believe it. Around this time Jacob started texting everyone and letting them know how quickly I was going. My mom was upset. She was hoping to make the birth, but it didn't look like that was going to happen. In the tub I was able to relax a lot. I had more bloody show (eww) and Sarah came and scooped it with a little green fish net. Anne got there and joked that she had someone across the hall that I apologized for her having to cancel her afternoon appointments. She laughed and told me not to apologize, and she needed to be there anyway because she had someone laboring across the hall. She also mentioned that the other woman would "beat me". I think this little hint of competition really helped speed my labor along (not really, but who knows maybe on some subconcious level that comment hit my competitive nerve). Anne was having a hard time checking me in the tub and she wanted us to be monitored for 5 minutes. I got out and I was at 9.5 cm and my water still wasn't broken. We waited until Sarah got back from lunch (about 15 minutes later) and Anne broke my water. Unfortunately, there was meconium in the fluid and that meant I had to be monitored carefully and couldn't get back in the tub. It also meant when Esme came out that the NICU team would snatch her up and check her to be sure she didn't aspirate any of the meconium. This all really upset me at the time, but after reading about other cases with meconium I feel so happy that my midwife didn't jump to a C-Section, as most MDs do when they find meconium in the fluid.

Laboring in the bed was HELL. Especially on my back. We tried the squat bar, pulling myself up when I had a contraction, but it didn't help that much and it was exhausting because my contractions, although short, were very close together. I screamed a lot. Everyone kept telling me to breathe, relax, and stop wasting my energy screaming. Before that I was able to breathe through my contractions, and I would chant (kind of) relax relax relax relax, knowing that if I tensed with contractions it would basically work against them. Anne at some point suggested that I labor on my knees, leaning against the back of the bed (it was in an upright position), with my hands over the back. This position was so great. Not as great as the tub, but I was able to rock back and forth and the pressure was off my back. As labor went on, I started to get back labor. This is when the most "f" bombs were dropped, I screamed, hit the bed, and even bit the sheets.  Jacob was fantastic. He was rubbing my back, holding my water cup for me as I sipped the straw, wiping my sweat (and there was a lot). His *one* mistake was when I asked for the epidural, he accidentally blurted out, "No". I don't blame him or hold it against him, and I even laugh a little at the memory. I am glad he reminded me that I really didn't want the epidural. My midwife asked me if I was sure, I breathed through the contraction, and told her no, I didn't want it. This exact thing happened (minus Jacob saying no) about 30 minutes later. Anne and Sarah were also great. I had cold cloths on my neck, arms, and back. And at one point Anne hopped on the bed and pushed my hip bones apart, and that helped with the back labor. When the back labor was at its worst I had to have a little portable monitor type deal inserted and stuck on Esme's head. I was moving too much for the monitor and my heart rate had gotten pretty high, so the little antennae was the best way to go.

A little bit after 12pm I decided I wanted to push. I didn't feel the "overwhelming urge," but definitely an urge. Anne said I could start out with gentle pushes every few contractions. And thats what I did. Between 12 and 1:30pm or so was the worst. I screamed and convinced myself it was impossible. Thank goodness for my amazing "team". I may have broken a few hands. I always thought that was exaggerated in the movies, but man! You can really do some squeezing when you're in that much pain. Around 1:30 they started to talk to me about the ring of fire and crowning and I realize the worst was yet to come. That was when I bowed my head (really, rested it on the back of the bed), retreated deep inside me, and prayed so hard. I realize that sounds corny, but for the rest of the pushing, pretty much till crowning my pain was manageable again. I finally felt able to do it.

When Esme crowned it was a crazy pain. I am not sure if I felt "the ring of fire," but I felt like someone was trying to rip me in half. Then a push or two later- sweet relief, still a lot of pain, but nothing like a few seconds before. And one more push after that- absolute instant relief. I felt her come out and I sighed. When we watched "Knocked Up" a few days later, and Katherine Heigl was wimpering after she pushed her baby out, Jacob said that was exactly what I did. I was so exhausted. I didn't get to see Esme come out because I was facing the wrong way and the NICU team had snatched her up. I think I may have taken a 60 second nap or so against the edge of the bed, until I realized Jacob was tending to me, and I told him to go check on Esme and take pictures. She was screaming and I fell in love without even seeing her. I wanted to see her, so I turned around. When I started, Sarah told me not to freak out. I did. There was blood everywhere! I started sobbing, "this isn't normal, this isn't normal. I am going to die!" They told me to calm down, it is normal and I need to deliver the placenta. I was so exhausted I couldn't imagine pushing again. It had been about 2 hours of pushing before that. I think I even asked Anne just to pull it out by the cord. Of course she couldn't do that, and of course delivering the placenta wasn't as difficult as Esme, but it still hurt. Sarah pushed my belly while Anne and a surgical tech (who helps with "complicated" deliveries) helped down below. It came out and I felt more blood- again they assured me this was normal. The surgical tech was walking out of the room and for some reason I asked to see the placenta. She showed it to me and it was gross! And a lot bigger than I expected, like a big bloody football. Meanwhile, Anne was working "down under" stitching me up. I had a second degree tear, but she was able to sew it with one running stitch. The novacaine shot was the worst thing about the stitches. Jacob then came over and showed me pictures of our beautiful daughter. He told me she was perfect and didn't aspirate any meconium at all, but the meconium must have been in there a while because it stained her skin and umbilical cord. A few minutes later, the surgical tech cut off my tank top (I was too tired to lean forward and take it off) and Esme was plopped on my chest. I couldn't believe she was here. I cried so hard and kissed her head. I then remembered Jacob and I promised to kiss her at the same time for the first time, but I couldn't help it. She was so precious. We were able to start nursing pretty much right away. It took a couple tries, but eventually she latched and we were good to go.

After nursing Esme got her first bath and I ordered my meal. I was starved. Beyond starved. I just had the most rigorous workout of my life. I ordered a turkey sandwich, pretzels, ice cream, and cranberry juice. I think I ate half of it because I was so excited to hold Esme again. After about an hour Sarah told me I had to try to use the bathroom. This was terrifying to me, with the stitches, the hemmorhoids from labor(sorry, I warned you), and just the general Hell my girly parts had just been through I cried. I knew I had to go, but it was so scary. I told myself, hey, I just went through a natural childbirth (except for the anti-nausea meds), surely I can pee. I had good reasons for my fear- it stung like heck! But only initially. And every pee after got a little easier than the one before. After I peed we were ready to go to our recovery room. I sat in the wheel-chair, was handed my daughter, and off we went.

7 Weeks with Ezzie

Its 1:07 am on October 17th. Esme is 7 weeks old today. Please slow down, time! My little baby is growing before my eyes and as much as I want her to grow and be healthy and strong, I want to snuggle her in my arms forever! A couple of entries I go I wrote about what we learned about Esme. Everyday we learn something new about this little person, every day something changes. In fact, a couple weeks ago I discovered a birth mark above her left ear! A faint, little cafe-au-lait splotch. I couldn't believe it took me so long to notice it. Anyway, here's a few updates to that list:

• She is a night owl
• She is still a night owl, we've been trying to get her to bed earlier, but no dice. In fact we started her bed time routine at 11pm and Jacob is still trying to rock her to sleep 2 hours later. 
• She hates being swaddled
• I read in "Happiest Baby on the Block" to work past the screaming of the swaddle, and man am I glad we did that! She still screams a teensy initially, but we rock her (or bounce her) and she is calm. And thanks to her Moro reflex not going off she will easily give us a 4 hour stretch at night.
• She loves to snuggle
• Oh my little snuggle bunny. I thought I used to love naps, but they are so so much better snuggling with a teensy baby.

More things we learned:

• She loves her nursery... Especially her changing table!
• She is very sensitive to wet diapers
• She loves bath time
• Her feet get cold easily

And she's started smiling! I've gotten a few giggles out of her, but not many. She is definitely showing more emotions now. Her little personality is developing and she is very serious and thoughtful.

The Labor Inducing Scavenger Hunt

On Saturday, August 27th, I started "early labor". This mild pain that I had was constant, non-timeable, and dull. My midwife told me to move things along I should walk- a LOT. I spent my entire day Saturday walking, then had to rest from it on Sunday. Monday I went on a short walk to the gas station for a pop and had some contractions that were stronger than the others. I decided to go on a super long walk after dinner, but needed some entertaining during it since Jacob was at work. I enlisted  my friends to give me a scavenger hunt list. I got home from my walk at around 6:30 on the 29th. About 12 hours later I was in active labor!


So here it is, the secret to inducing labor. At least for me, anyway.

Bird Poop

House with a Red Door

Green Fence

A Coffee Shop

A Baby ( I cheated a little here- didn't wanna be the freak lady who takes pictures of stranger's babies)

A Sign with the Number 21 on it

Something that Reminds you of your Best Friend

Something with "IU" on it (Or your Rival University)

Your Dream Car

Somebody Walking their Dog (I had to be sly here)

A Blue Mailbox

A Bike Parked in Front of a House

A Blue House

A White Fence

 

 

By the way: I am pretty sure you could shave a couple hours of your wait off if you find a Tomato and an Old Man with a Walking Cane. I didn't. Perhaps if I did labor would have started at 4 am instead of 6!

Good luck, Happy (and safe) Laboring!

Cloth Diapering! The Beginning of my Journey!

We received our batch of cloth diapers in the mail about a week or two ago. I am really excited, but very nervous!

Right now I am going to do a quick pros and cons list about my diapers:

Pros:

• Adooooorable! It is pretty silly how much I gush over something my baby is going defecate. 
• They appear to have everything advertised about them. Mainly what I am referring to here is the sizing. They are "one size"- meaning they should fit Ezzie until she is ready to potty train. The snaps look like they will definitely allow that!
• Very soft! And well, they aren't crinkly crunkle plastic with God knows what chemicals. I have a feeling my baby's tooshie will enjoy these!

Red- Smallest setting, Yellow- Medium setting, Green- Largest Setting

Cons:

• I am worried about the "bulk". Mainly- am I going to have to get her a size up in the pants to accommodate the diapers due to the bulk in the "smaller sizes"? Hmmm... We'll see!
• Snaps! I knew there were going to be a lot of snaps- this is a given with one size diapers, but every diaper change will have 12 snaps involved (six off, six on)! Eek! Of course, this is better than the archaic safety pins and still even better than pre-folds. I will just be raising a patient baby. We've been practicing with a teddy bear.
• I don't know why, but one of the prints I chose I really wish I hadn't! Its a pale pink with a black lace pattern overlay with bows. Everytime I look at it I think, "why am I putting my baby in sexy lingerie?" I am sure it isn't as bad as I am describing, but I am such a prude anyway.

And yes! They are washing right now. I am doing a warm wash/cold rinse with a squirt of Dawn dish soap (yeah, you read that right) to strip any extra chemicals that  may be on there. I mean, these diapers did come from China (insert winky face). After this I will do an extra rinse or two (to insure the Dawn is out) and then wash them with my 1 tablespoon of my homemade detergent on a warm/cold and then cold/cold cycle. Finally they will go in the dryer to seal the PUL, I will put in the inserts, snap them to the smallest setting, and toss them in the bucket for when Esme is ready for them. For those of my cloth diaper skeptics out there laughing at this insane laundry routine I have ahead of me- fear not! This is only a "prepping" stage that you do once for your cloth diapers. Every other wash day will be much more simple!

Also- homemade laundry detergent you ask? Yes. It took me all of 10 minutes to make (if that) and about ten bucks. I used a 2:2:1 ratio of Arm & Hammer Washing Soda, 20 Mule Team Borax, and Oxyclean.

I poured it into a plastic snap container ($1 at Dollar Tree) and mixed with an old wooden spoon that was falling apart.

With cloth diapers you have to be super cautious with the laundry detergent you use so the diapers do not get coated. What better way to ensure that then to make your own? Each load will use one tablespoon of this detergent, which is half a scoop of the scooper that came in our Oxyclean.

Aaaand just for fun: A Hello Kitty printed diaper that is in our "stash". More pics to come!

All opened up

Closed on the absolute smallest size (sitting on top of my disgusting dryer)

Feels Like a Lifetime!

It feels like a lifetime since I've posted! I avoided my blog for so long that when I was able to post- it didn't even occur to me!

For the record: our little baby is a GIRL! We are naming her Esme Julia Christian and are so unbelievably excited to meet her!

We had a very happy gender reveal with both sides of the family! Here's some highlights in photos: 

Our delicious brunch, the day before Mother's day!

Ha! We tricked poor Grammie! What a great reveal!

The vote down in Oklahoma!

Our pinata! Filled with candy to reveal the gender!

Our dino's guts! Pink for girl!!

Maybe its because I am pregnant, but I think I was the only one who preferred the candy over the balloons!

Other than that- everything is going great! We are going to have a midwife (hopefully) deliver Esme. And even though I am starting to get more nausea in the 3rd tri I am happy and healthy! Esme moves a LOT. She has moved a remote control off my belly before and even nudged a bolt of fabric I had against my belly at Hobby Lobby!

Speaking of Hobby Lobby. Amy and I went to every craft store in town, coupons in hand, to get some nursery decorations. Here is how we made out:

EXCUSE THE MESS! I literally swiped everything off of my coffee table to get my craft supplies on there. What you're looking at:
-Fabric for baby blanket, which I am applique-ing dinosaurs on
-Wooden dinos for mobile
-1 Wooden hoop for said mobile
-Various sized wooden hoops to fill with fabric for wall polka dots
-Japanese lanterns, I may paint dinos on these
-Wooden frames I will paint for pictures of "Mommy", "Daddy", and "Baby"
-Paint and foam brushes
-Already painted letters for above the crib

Only thing missing (I think) is the ribbon to hang everything and PERHAPS a lamp I may decorate if I can do it non fire hazardly. Also, if my estimates are correct I got all of that junk for <$50. I don't count the non-pictured ribbon as that will be leftover from our wedding.

 

PS- check out my unintentional "view from above" bump. Underneath is a baby magazine I swiped off my table and it looks like I am giving birth. LOL 

 

 

So now! I am off to work on some of these crafts!I can't wait to see how it all comes together in my "Girly but not too Pinky Dino Nursery!"

A Million Years!

It feels like it has been a million years since I posted! I've been avoiding my blog because I was afraid of accidentally posting the sex and ruining the surprise for some of our family! We have that barbeque on the 29th and we are really looking forward to sharing that moment in person with family. Its been a long wait, but we only have 12 days to go! How exciting!


Anyway, we had our big anatomy scan done May 4th and baby is looking good! The heartbeat was around 147 (if I remember correctly) and yes, there is totally a baby in there! Heck, here is a picture of it looking up at us (it is really weird to think that that face is inside of me!):

 

We had a little scare at the ultra-sound when after the goop was off my belly and my bladder was empty (oh the joy!) the tech came back in for more pictures. The pictures were of the spine and the brain and all's I could think of were all those days I spent barfing my brains out and I didn't get any vitamins whatsoever. Alas, the doctor says everything looks normal (or at least nothing we needed to be notified of immediately). 

I started a new job and I am hating it! Cashiering at WalMart sucks. I would actually like it a lot if it weren't for my sore feet, ankles, and back at the end of the night. I like interacting with people, I just get super sore. I had a little "passing out" incident the other day at work, but it wasn't a big deal once I got home, superhydrated myself, and put my feet up. I have an 8 hr shift today and then two glorious days off! Then another 6 days in a row.  Agh!

One last thing. New biggest pregnancy craving: lemonade! In particular McDonald's frozen lemonade with no syrup and Simply Lemonade with Raspberry! YUM! 

Love, the Christians, Jess, Cricket, Courage, and the baby in my uterus (I forget what fruit it is this week/month)

It's a boy!

Well, at least my chicken nugget makes me think its a boy. I mean come on... a chicken nugget with a penis is a pretty clear cut sign 35 hours away from your anatomy scan, right?

Spinach Ravioli!

Next to Sweet-Tarts, lemonade, and Better-Made BBQ chips, one of my biggest cravings is spinach ravioli! It is so delicious and so easy to make!

Here is my "recipe"
1. Get some frozen cheese ravioli or tortellini and prepare according to the directions (usually pour the ravioli into boiling water and let cook for 2-3 minutes)
2. Put a splash of olive oil and a pinch of minced garlic into a sauce pan and brown the garlic on medium-ish heat.
3. Add a bag of spinach. It is going to shrink A LOT. So do it little by little, like 4 additions.
4. Once the spinach is all shrank sprinkle a little red pepper. Stir and cook on medium-low heat for about 5 min.
5. Throw your cooked and drained ravioli into the spinach pan. Let cook on low for like 3 minutes.

And you're done! Its so delicious, but the ravioli leaves a chalky feeling on your teeth sometimes, or maybe the spinach, I don't know. One of these days I am going to add some grilled chicken into the mix!!

Cloth Diapering!

Pretty much since those two (beautiful) pink lines showed up I have been begging Jacob to agree to cloth diaper. From the get-go he was against it. Then out of nowhere he turns to me and says, "Honey, maybe we should cloth diaper!" This was probably the best "news" I've gotten since peeing on that stick. Just to get it out in the open, here's the pros and cons (for us anyway):

Pros
1. Cost affective! Disposable diapers are about 30 cents per diaper. For about 3 months, baby goes through about 10 a day (sometimes more) and through potty training about 7. So that's about $270 for the newborn phase, and if the baby potty trains at the average age of 3 years old that's about $2110. Altogether that is about $2380, and that's a conservative number. A good "stash" of cloth diapers, even the more expensive ones, can cost about $500, on the high end. Personally, Jacob and I have decided to spend around $300 on them, if all goes according to plan.
2. The environment. This one is iffy, some people argue that the cost of production and maintenance (ie washing and drying) is comparable to the amount of plastic diapers we put in the land fills. Personally, I feel that "wasting" water is not as bad as filling the earth with poop. Apparently it can take 500 years to decompose 1 disposable diaper- eek.
3. Potty training! Look back to #1 when I quote the prices and say that the baby potty trains at 3 years old. Well, guess what? Cloth diapered babies generally potty train much sooner. Cloth diapered babies potty train around 18 months-24 months, disposable diapered babies around 3-4 (on average).
4. Less diaper rash. I don't remember the exact statistic, but something like only 7% of babies had diaper rashes before the disposables. Nowadays, when majority of babies are using disposables something like 78% have diaper rashes.
5. Less chemicals. Disposables have a chemical in it called, "sodium polyacralate" and if it gets on baby's skin its not good! Polyacralate is super absorbent and that is why it is used in disposables, but interesting fact: it has been banned from being used in feminine products, but not in disposable diapers. How messed up is that? Also, some people believe that the chemicals in the disposables can cause or worsen asthma and maybe even cause toxic shock syndrome.
6. Cute! Okay, Jacob likes to speculate that this is my #1 reason for choosing to cloth diaper, but I promise it isn't! But how cute are those cloth diaper covers that can come in so many fun colors and patterns? I feel like that is a lot more fun than pastel Winnie the Pooh, but that's just me.

Cons (and my rebuttal)
1. Sooo much laundry! Yeah I will have to do laundry every 1-2 days, but guess what? I can totally do it. I am notorious for letting my laundry pile up, but we always have clean towels and undies and whatever we need. The baby will need diapers so they will get washed. It may be irritating, but I feel like I'd get in a groove, every other day gotta do a load, and it will just be 2nd nature. Who knows maybe it will help with my other laundry habits.
2. So gross! You have to scrape poop!? Yeah, you have to scrape the poop, and this was Jacob's main issue. But did you know you are supposed to do that even with your run of the mill Pampers, Huggies, and Luvs? Yeah for real!Its a violation of World Health Organization, APHA, and CDC guidelines to just "throw" your poopy diapers away. Think of gross poop is and all the "crap" it contains. When it goes into our landfills it can leach into our water supply, not just the obviously gross stuff, but viruses too- like Polio. They have diaper sprayers that aren't that costly, and yeah its pretty nasty, but I heard breast fed babies' poo doesn't smell quite as bad as formula fed babies, so I am thinking I can deal. Plus I worked at a vet clinic.
3. Leaks and blow-outs. I only read about this in a couple of places, but cloth diapers are just as (if not more) effective at containing those messes as disposables. The most common cause of leaks with cloth diapers are either low quality/absorbency or the brand/style just doesn't just fit your baby. Just like disposables you need to explore other options- if Luvs doesn't work you try Huggies, same theory applies to cloth diapers.
4. Uhm, what do you do with your dirties before they are washed? Diaper pails or bags are really effective and there are a lot of options to be used. I haven't really read about a mother who could not find a solution to the stinkies because there are just so many out there. Also, it isn't like there is a pail of dirty diapers hanging around your house for a week(+). You wash your diapers every other day, at least, along with the liner or bag.
5. Diaper creams. No, you can't use Desitin or the raved about Butt Paste because it messes with the absorbency of your cloth diapers, but there are plenty of options out there for baby. And actually, breast milk is good for soothing rashes, weird, huh?
6. Energy cost. Okay, I can't really get around this one, except by saying the increase in our electric bill is going to suck (it won't be comparable to the cost of disposables, though I am sure) and we don't pay for our water!
7. A lot of day cares don't allow them! If our baby ends up in day care we will try to find a cloth diaper friendly provider, or just suck up the fact that baby will be on disposables. Not really something that can be avoided.

Okay so that's my schpeel on cloth diapers. I am really excited about this little venture. I honestly haven't come across one family member who is completely supportive of it and that kind of sucks, but I have some friends helping me out and that is great! The choice to cloth diaper was a hard one for Jacob and I, or at least a long time coming. For Jacob it took a ton of deliberation and it could have just as easily gone the other way. In fact, we have two packages of disposables under our bathroom counter. So that being said, I don't "judge" anyone who chooses to use disposables, it is a personal parenting choice that everybody  has the right to make themselves!

Night everyone! Love, the Christians- Jacob, Jess, Cricket, Courage, and the melon kicking my bladder

Heart beats, Ultra sounds, and Color Schemes!

We had an appointment yesterday morning and everything is looking good! I am measuring right where I should be- a huge relief to the twin scare/ slightly enlarged uterus! The baby was moving a lot (she said) when using the doppler and it's heart rate was at 154.

I just scheduled our big ultra-sound/ anatomy scan for May 4th at 9:30 am and I couldn't be more excited! Now, how do I get through these next 12 days without bursting? No clue.

In the meantime, I've been fantasizing about the nursery. I plan on doing a lot of DIY projects- an appliqued quilt being the main element. I've also found some cute ideas for decorating lamps and wall art. Our "theme" will be for girl- dinosaur and if its a boy- Beatles themed. I am so excited to get going on this quilt! In the meantime, we've come up with a little rough color scheme (boy on left, girl on right):

 

It's funny, the girl color scheme is pretty much our wedding colors. I am not too keen on pink nursery, and plus if we use light green elements we can use them for future children (if there are future children).We'll see! I am so excited!

3 Weeks

3 weeks from now we'll have a peace of mind about our baby. We'll know that everything looks normal (hopefully). We'll know what the sex is. We'll know what to call it. I can't wait. I am so excited.

Possibly a Bump, a New Job, and Plans

Updating has not been my strong suit! Maybe when we start getting baby things together I will be posting more. Today I am 19 weeks and 4 days along. If you ask me, I am already halfway through because I am hoping this little one comes out a wee bit early. That is so unbelievable in a paradoxical way. I feel like I've been pregnant forever, but the weeks drag on so slow. Here is a picture of my possible "bump"

It isn't very much, and to me, I still just look fatter, but Jacob says I look pregnant and I guess I'll just go with that! I really want to buy another pair of maternity pants... In fact, I have to! I got a job at Wal-Mart, which isn't exactly my dream job, but I am excited to contribute and even more excited to be able to save some money for our little baby. I am not sure when I start, but hopefully soon!

Jacob and I have been talking a lot about plans for when Sweet-Tart gets here. Sure, its pretty soon to be worrying about this, but as always, our ginormo families play a big factor in that. My mom is coming down for the birth and will be staying for only a few days. I am really excited to have my momma here during that time, sometimes I still cry for my momma when I am sick and especially when I toss my cookies. It will be nice to have her in the delivery room, I think. Don't get me wrong, Jacob is my number one support system and best friend, but there is something about a mom that is comforting. After that we don't know what to do. We think it'd be nice to have a week or so to ourselves with the baby, getting in the groove, laying some semblance of a schedule, let myself heal a bit, all that stuff. Its a sticky situation to us, we want family to visit, we want everyone to meet our baby, but I just can't help but wonder how overwhelming that will feel right off the bat.

I can't worry too much about that stuff now. I have finals coming up and even though I only have two, I am pretty stressed out about that! Still hoping our doctor lets us do that ultrasound a few days early so I don't have to wonder about it through finals. We'll see!

Love, the Christians- Jacob, Jess, Cricket, Courage, and the Mango growing in my uterus!

Nutrition

I have GOT to get my nutrition in order. I take my pre-natals, but I need more Calcium. Also, a dehydrated little (okay, ginormo) tablet just can't take the place of fruits, veggies, and quality protein. THANK GOODNESS I can still eat chicken, but just about every other meat makes me gag thinking about. I would love to eat cheese, but our fridge is so gosh darned stinky I don't want to open the fridge to indulge! Fruits- I bought a lot of stuff for smoothies, but always forget about them and veggies... ew. Just about the only veggie I can think of stomaching is carrots. Green beans, lima beans, and peas don't sound too bad, but by the time I cook them the smell gets to me. I am hoping these food aversions go away soon. In the meantime I am going to try and force myself to eat some healthy foods.


In news having nothing to do with foods: baby kicks/ flutters all the time! I joke that my baby is hyperactive, but maybe its true! I get tickled a lot and even little pop-pop-pops sometimes. Its a wonderful feeling. Nineteen days until we schedule the appointment for the "big ultrasound". I am hoping like crazy they will schedule it for the week before finals, which I will actually be 21 weeks, and they want to do it at 22 weeks. BUT the Friday before I will be 21 weeks and 5 days... Close enough, right? How am I supposed to concentrate on my finals when the little baby is kicking and I have no idea if its a girlie or guy? Here's hoping!

Love, the Christians- Cricket, Courage, Jess and the onion growing inside of my uterus (we can't wait for Jacob to get home from work!)

Long Overdue

I haven't updated in quite a long time, but everything is perfectly okay. Better thank okay, in fact. I am almost completely off my nausea meds! About every 3 days, I'll need to take one, but for the most part I can make it through the day without relying on Zofran. I am eating, a lot. But having a really difficult time eating healthy. My food aversions are at an all time high. I take my prenatals, and hope that there is some form of nutrition in what I am putting in my mouth, but I can't help it if I only want to eat one random thing.


I've been feeling a lot of movement! A lot of people think I am crazy and blame it on gas, but I know what I'm feeling. I have always been a gassy gal, so I think I would know what that feels like. It feels like someone brushing their fingers against me on the inside of me. Sometimes it feels like popcorn popping and hitting inside. At my last doctor's appointment the doc said the baby was "cruising" and found the heartbeat, which was in the upper 150's. It's all pretty exciting, but I really really can't wait to find out if its a boy or a girl! Only like, a little over 5 weeks. I haven't made the appointment yet, but we will at our next check up on April 15th!

Love, the Christians- Jess and the Avocado growing inside of my uterus

Crazy, I know...

But I swear I can feel this little thing kicking me or something!!

14 Weeks & Official Second Trimester

Yesterday I officially crossed the threshold into second trimester at 14 weeks! Right now the baby is about the length of a lemon (eek!) and still making my tummy hurt, but not as bad as before, thank goodness. There aren't many baby updates to report here, just some round ligament pain and I may or may not have peed myself when I sneezed last night. Non-Baby-Related: Jacob got a promotion at work, I have two exams this week that I am quite worried about, we are going to Michigan on Saturday for a few days, and we're planning a trip to visit Jacob's family in Oklahoma. We're excited for both trips, but like always, both come with little complications. We'll see how it all plays out. I am still counting down the weeks until I finally get to know what kind of baby I am carrying around with me all day every day- 8 weeks! Still feeling girly, and Jacob stated last night he hopes its a girl so I don't bug him about naming a boy, "Samwise" anymore. We're pretty decided on our names, I am just such a weirdo and can't let go of Samwise!


Love, the Christians- Jess and the Lemon growing inside my uterus

PS- People who blast your bass so loud it makes my house shake when you pass- What the heck!?

Second Trimester (Unofficial)

Today is week 13, AKA the unofficial start of the 2nd trimester. According to a few sources the 2nd trimester doesn't begin until 14 weeks and 1 day- so a week from tomorrow. Either way, I see today as the beginning of feeling better! I've been doing so much better lately- eating regularly and moving around a lot more, but my nausea gets really bad at night time still. Also, vertigo hits every so often. It is definitely a weird feeling. I will be sitting in the recliner and all of a sudden I feel like someone is tilting the chair forward trying to tip me out. I have no idea what that's about! I will have to remember asking my doctor about it next time I go in if it gets any worse.

I am going to bed though! Need to go to school tomorrow and get some learning in!

Love, the Christians- Jacob, Jess, Cricket, Courage, and the PEACH growing inside my uterus

Heartbeat Again!

We heard the heartbeat again this morning! I've been having some pretty scary dreams lately, and weird pains down south, so I was nervous for this appointment. But, my little baby is ever so cooperative and we heard the little fluttering "lub-dub" again. The heartbeat was in the 160's- so a pretty nice number! After the goo was off my belly and my pants were buttoned I tried getting off the cot and fell on my butt. Nice! The worst part is that my appointment is a group type thing. 5 ladies gather to talk about pregnancy, and the doc takes us to the side and the cot, is literally that: a cot barely a foot above the ground. So a bunch of people saw me fall, how embarrassing!

Everyday I get more and more excited, but more and more nervous to meet my little baby. I am an overflowing bottle of emotion, I don't know how I can hold much more!

Love, the Christians- Jess and the little plum growing (with a beating heart) inside my uterus!

Oh My Goodness- Sweet Tarts!

The past few days I have been craving sweet tarts, and maybe Nerds... but mostly sweet tarts. Last night I decided to go to Jacob's work to catch him before he got off and get my sweet tarts. Well, he got off early and had all means of paying for the sweet tarts, so I had to go home empty handed. I was not happy. My hormones were out of control and I was crying over the darn things when I walked in the door. Today though, Jacob went with me to Walgreens and we bought a bag of the easter shaped sweet tarts and I am as happy as can be. They are so delicious! Easter is over 2 months away, I hope this craving goes away soon or the little baby will come out all hyped on sugar!

Names

Recently, Jacob and I have been toying with the possibility of keeping our name choices underwraps until the baby is actually out. There are a lot of reasons for this, the first being that I am super hormonal and super in love with my names and if someone displays a negative taste torwards my names, I may have a minor meltdown. Okay, thats a little selfish. Also, we are definitely going to be revealing the sex of the baby and we want something big to announce when he/she is born.

We'll see though! I will probably burst with excitement well before then. Although, we did tell my mom some of the names and after we convinced her we weren't joking she kept repeating, "no". A little bit frustrating,  but we expect our unusual and (in some cases) super classic names to get some side eyes. We have about 3 or 4 girl choices and 2 or 3 boy choices. For both sexes we're leaning towards one name... Although we are leaning towards different names for the boys. I still need to get to know the baby more to make a big decision!

Right now, things are getting better. My morning sickness is actually only coming at night (around 8:30pm), but I've been trying to nibble throughout the day to avoid it. It doesn't seem to help, but maybe it would be worse if I didn't? Some days are better than others. So far today is a little better than most days. I think I'm gaining some of the weight back, but in my chest. I have to hold up all my pants when I walk! Eek.

Love, the Christians- Just Jess and the little Plum growing in my uterus (yay 12 weeks now!)

Evening Sickness

Like I've said before, I get a little bit better everyday. Except for the yesterday and the day before- inescapable nausea (and even some more) despite my max dosage of anti-nausea medicines. The nausea seems to get worst in the evening, but at least I can go to school! I went Wednesday, and as exhausting as that was, I'm really hoping to get back into the swing of things. Still craving orange juice like crazy, but managed to get some scrambled eggs down- let's hope they stay there!

In other news, Jacob got a hair cut today and he looks super handsome!

Love, the Christians- Jacob, Jess, Cricket, Courage, and the little lime growing in my uterus!

My Crazy Husband!

The other night, Jacob told me he was excited to show off our baby at his family reunion. My eyes bulged out of my head and I may have had a little bout of nauseau... The family reunion is September 30th, in Texas! Now, if I deliver on time and everything goes well that would mean taking a 26 day old baby on a nasty, germy, plane ride and sleeping outdoors. Don't get me wrong, I would love to go! I had a lot of fun last time, but I can't imagine taking that little one across the country before she or he gets its first set of vaccines. Not to mention... what about me?! I've never given birth, I don't know how I'll feel 3 and a half weeks after! Its still a possibility, we're going to talk to the pediatrician and my Ob/Gyn, but in the mean time I feel this is a disaster waiting to happen! Eek!

Yesterday I went to school and had an evening exam. After my test I was craving a milkshake so I went to Pappy's and sucked down a Cookies'n'Cream shake... BAD IDEA! Although baby loved the milkshake, my tummy did not. Luckily I was home before I got the second showing and my tummy stopped once it was empty.

Now I am cuddling under a blankey watching the tellie, sipping lots of orange juice! I can't get enough orange juice, we should invest in OJ stock or something.

Love, the Christians- Just Jess and the little Lime right now

Put the Lime in the Coconut!

Little baby is now the size of a lime! Crazy! We had a good weekend, little lime included. My momma came over and cleaned my whole house as it was very much needed. I feel bad that she spent most of her time doing dishes and laundry than actually visiting. A six hour drive to clean someone else's house? Sheesh- she must love me.

I'm feeling a little better these days. Eating more each day and drinking orange juice like there's no tomorrow. We went looking for cribs, strollers, and car seats yesterday and its so hard to pick gender neutral things. I can't believe it's still 11 weeks until we find out the sex! I think its a girl, along with Megan and Amy. My mom and sister are absolutely insistent its a boy. We'll see the week of May 2nd!

What else happened this weekend? We told Erin about the baby... Well, Amy did. She called her up and said, "you're going to be a Grandma again!" I think for a few seconds Erin believed Amy was the one with a baby inside, but when she asked, "You?!" Amy answered, "Well, Jacob's the father" and Erin said, "I hope its not you!" Haha. It was executed perfectly.

Telling my own grandmother didn't go so well. Bits of the conversation went as follows:
Her- "What?! Didn't you take your pill?"
Me- "No, they made me really nauseous."
Her- "Well, lots of things make me nauseous!"
and then after she calmed down a bit:
Her- "Well, what else is new? Do you have any good news?"

It made me really sad to see her react that way. I hope she comes around. In the meantime, just relaxing... I'm exhausted- haven't been sleeping well. I am trying not to nap because I am (come hell or high water) going to school tomorrow!

Love, the Christians- Jacob, Jess, Cricket, Courage, and the Lime growing in my uterus (yay! We're all watching a movie together)

Great 1st Appointment!

I am pleased to announce that my 1st appointment was nothing like that scene in "500 Days of Summer"! It went very well. My doctor prescribed me a plethora of anti-emetics and told us where we can get the best for dirt cheap! We also heard the heart beat, which was amazing... She put the gel on and said, "Well, sometimes we can't find the heartbeat this early on so don't get discour- OH WAIT!" and then we heard the "wooshwooshwoosh". I'll admit- I cried, but I think Jacob did too, though he will never admit it. The only downsides of the appointment were a) the TB test, a shot! I hate shots these days and b) the doctor told me to eat a spoonful of peanut butter every 2 hours or so. I stinking hate peanut butter! Especially plain like that- gag me with a spoon (full of peanut butter)!

In other news, the doctor also told me I could safely double the amount of meds I am taking, which I willingly did to eat. I managed to eat and keep down some sweet and sour chicken last night. Now, lets just hope I go poo soon, because I am estimating its been somewhere around 25 days. Sure, that may be TMI, but this blog is to talk about my pregnancy- all aspects. Right? Ugh!

Love, the Christians- Jess, Cricket, Courage, and the little prune growing in my uterus (Jacob's at work)

Appointment Tomorrow *Knock on wood*

Our first official OB appointment is tomorrow, barring any natural disasters such as a storm taking over the entire country. I don't know what to expect, I'm at least hoping to hear a little heart beat, but maybe 10.5 weeks is too early? I'm 10.5 weeks in- about 2.5 weeks until I start the second trimester. On one hand, my optimistic hand, I'm looking forward to diving into the second trimester, "the feel good trimester". On the other hand, I'm scared. What if I get into the second trimester and this nauseau and vomiting doesn't end? What if my milestone I've been so looking forward to is nothing but a missed hope? I really hope that this ends soon, its ridiculous. I read about women taking the medicines I'm taking and they're like, "Oh my God! Its a miracle! Took my nauseau completely away!" Okay, I'm thankful the meds keep me from puking every thirty minutes, and I'm thankful not to have been to the ER in a few weeks, but honestly, how stupid is my body that these miracle drugs only take the edge off?

On that note, hopefully this nauseau means a healthy pregnancy. That all the right hormones are being produced and doing the right things to get the little baby from that little poppy seed to the insanely huge watermelon.

On a side note, I've eaten more today than I have in awhile! Two popsicles, some Cheezits, chicken broth, and a piece of chocolate cake (eaten in 4 sittings). Hopefully all that food will let me use the bathroom. Its kind of gross, but I haven't in weeks and although it doesn't hurt its a wee bit worrisome. We'll see tomorrow!

Watching 500 Days of Summer right now, the part where Tom's expectations and reality don't align. I hope that is not how tomorrow goes.